I love change.  I can’t explain why, or understand others who don’t.  I just know I truly enjoy the challenge of the dynamics of life.  So, of course, I married someone who absolutely hates change.  Not just avoids it, or has reservations about it, but truly hates change.  Also, I think details are important, he thinks they are annoying.  I like romantic comedies, he likes action thrillers.  I like long walks outside, he likes napping in front of the television set for hours at a time.  Believe it or not, our differences made the first, oh, say 23 years of our marriage miserable.  We just didn’t understand the tremendous blessing there is in our differences.  For one thing, how can you ever learn anything, besides what you already know, unless you are challenged with a different viewpoint?  And when would you ever learn the priceless lesson of sacrifice unless you were dialing back your own thoughts to hear someone else?  Would you ever crystalize your convictions if you never had to defend or explain them to someone who disagrees with you?

There are a multitude of reasons to embrace and appreciate the differences in others around you, but it is especially important in marriage.  Noticing and respecting your spouse’s differences are two important ways to demonstrate your love for one other.  Most strife can be traced to a lack of understanding of how our differences enrich the lives of those around us.  We don’t know how to listen without our own pig-headedness getting in the way.  So, here’s a challenge to all you married folks out there:  the next time you are tempted to insult or ridicule your spouse because they don’t agree with you, say instead, “That is so interesting.  I would never have thought of it that way.  You are so smart!”  You will be amazed at the response you get, and the more often you try this, the more fun it will become.  And, over time, you will realize that you actually do appreciate that wacky point of view.  After all, if we agreed about everything all the time, then one of us would be unnecessary.  Here’s to your healthy marriage!