Archive for » 2008 «

It’s Christmas time, and there is a lot of focus on gift-giving. Now suppose I wanted to give my husband that DVD he has been wanting and hinting about. I would first have to receive that DVD in some way before I could give it to him. No matter how much he wanted it, if I didn’t first come up with it somehow, I couldn’t pass it on to him.

This is also true of the greatest gift ever given to anyone: the unconditional love of God because of the sacrifice of His Son, Jesus. There are a lot of Christians who are stumbling through life, having received Christ’ death as the payment for their sins, but not having received God’s unconditional love that now flows uninhibited toward us. Rather, they spend untold effort trying to “win” God’s favor and approval, or religiously avoiding certain things so as to not incur His wrath. The practical result of this mindset is a religious spirit that causes us to compare ourselves with each other to see who is “better”. What freedom it is to finally just humbly receive all of God’s love and favor simply because we are His! Once you’ve received God’s love, you are then, and only then, able to offer that kind of love to another. That’s the kind of love that keeps marriages together through all the various storms of life. It’s that kind of love that enables us to love the most unlovable of creatures simply because God loves them. (I should know…I’ve taught junior high for many years!) If you’ve never experienced the deep satisfaction of knowing that you are genuinely and completely loved by the Creator of the universe, don’t do another thing before you come to Him and receive that love. Then get ready to celebrate Christmas like you’ve never done before!

Romance seems to be a lost art these days. Movies make fun of it, celebrities (usually men) roll their eyes on talk shows about it, and very few people seem to know what it really is. One misconception is that romance must include flowers, candy, expensive jewelry or a memorable night on the town. While these things are nice, they may or may not be romantic. At its very core, true romance is knowing the object of your affection very well, and anticipating what he or she wants and needs. Study your mate and memorize likes and dislikes, then behave and gift accordingly. Sometimes the most romantic thing you can do is be still and listen with your whole heart. Sometimes it means meeting your husband at the door au natural, with a cold drink in your hand, at the end of a long day. In short, romance means doing or saying what your loved one wants and needs without being asked. Often it costs you nothing, but adds incredible value to the relationship. It’s in the KNOWING what they want that makes it romantic. It means you’ve paid attention and studied them until you know, without them saying a word, exactly what they want. So, if your marriage has gotten a thin layer of dust over it, recommit yourself to being romantic. You will be amazed at the results!

Turns fallen trees into kindling

Ladies, learn to use power tools!  It’s so much fun.  Of course, this time of year, it’s cold here in our neck of the woods, and my mom’s wood-burning stove uses lots and lots of wood.  My wonderful cousins brought us wood today, and it was such fun to visit with them while they split and we stacked it all.   While we were working, I was remembering the great time we had years ago when we lived in Plainview and the community decided to collaborate on a Robert Leather’s wooden playground for one of our city parks.  I spent all of one day routing all four long edges of zillions of two-by-fours, two-by-sixes and two-by-eights.  I am so thankful that my dad allowed me to be the son he never had, and taught me to do all sorts of “guy” stuff.  I was a tomboy anyway, so I really loved it all.  The point of all this is to encourage you to try new things.  It keeps you interesting and interested.  And you will never be bored if you can use a chainsaw!  Ditto for a drill, circular saw, tiller, tractor….

Okay, is it just me, or is the level of grammatical ability of the average Joe taking a plunge?  I would never even suggest that I have a perfect memory, but I don’t remember seeing so many grammatical errors in print 20 years ago.  It seems to have gotten really bad the last 10 years.  I know that at faculty meetings, I would ply my language arts buddies with questions about their experiences with their students.  They seemed to agree with me about the lack of understanding of conventional English in their classrooms.  In particular, the proper use of the oh-so-popular apostrophe.  It seems that, nowadays, people are afraid to put an “s” on the end of a word without an apostrophe.  For instance, consider the flyer posted in the elevator at a popular Lubbock retirement village, advertising an up-coming event:  “Resident’s will be treated to the lively sounds of (performer’s name)…”  Come on, why does that word need an apostrophe?  Why would anyone even consider putting one there?  Oh, and don’t even get me started on the improper use of there, their and they’re!  And if I only had a nickel for every time a student wrote me a note saying “Your the best teacher in the world!”  I loved the sentiment, but PLEEEEEEEASE get the grammar right!  So, everyone out there who shares my love for the English language, please help me stamp out ignorance wherever you see it.  There…you are hereby deputized!  Go forth and correct!!

See? Up...

There it was again.  The toilet seat up.  Even after I’d asked him, ever so politely, to please put it down.  Even after I’d fallen into the cold bowl when I stumbled in there in the middle of the night.  There it was, up again.  I felt my blood starting to boil, and - quite suddenly - it hit me.  This just simply wasn’t something I needed to get my way about.  What was I, unable to put the seat down?  Broken arm?  Too dumb to work the hinge?  So much of a baby that I had to insist he ready the pot for me each time he used it?  Nope.  None of those applied to me, so I made a conscious decision to never mention it again.

That was about seven years ago, and, in the ensuing years, there have been several other “sacred cows” that have been sacrificed on the altar of marital harmony.  My husband is a wonderful man, and if he leaves every toilet seat up in every house we are ever in together, he will still be wonderful.  What a difference it made when I decided to put him ahead of myself in this area.  I wonder what else I will get to give up in the future…

Greetings! My name is Melinda Jane Wilson Thompson, and I have been married to my wonderful husband, Jeff for 30 years. The vision for a website such as this has been burning in my soul for a very long time. The first 20 years of our marriage were, for lack of a better word, crappy! We had such financial struggles, marital struggles, parenting struggles…you name it, we struggled about it! There were months at a time where I felt so lonely I thought I would die, and I would have given anything to be able to have a safe place to vent about what we were going through. That is the purpose of this site: to allow you, the readers, to write in with your questions or concerns, and then we will work together toward a solution. You can comment on someone’s concerns, or you can comment on my comments about those concerns. My passion is to create a caring community with the purpose of strengthening marriages and families in this country and all around the world.

In my adult lifetime I have been a roofer, a plumber, a carpenter’s helper, a concrete worker, a seamstress, a wedding videographer and photography assistant, a landscape engineer, and newspaper deliverer. When I finally “grew up” and got my children into school, I became a junior high math teacher, which is what I’ve done for the past several years. Currently, I have entered yet another phase of my life; that of caring for an aging parent. Every season of our lives has had its unique challenges, but the grace of God has sustained us in each one. We now have a wonderful marriage and four marvelous, grown children, and I feel compelled to share with others what has been so freely given to us. So, here is your invitation to join us. Blog in with your question, concern or comment, and we will find answers together.